Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Rays of Peace
I hope that I brought you as much joy as you brought me; as much happiness and pleasure that you provided me as well. The overwhelming sadness and sense of eternal loss that has soaked into every pore of my being left me burdened; it was crushing to see you lying on our bed, a place of refuge, of retreat, of love and comfort. Yet you were at peace. Through the months of suffering, especially the last few days, you were finally at peace. I was in bed with you, beside you, holding you, whispering in your ear. I kissed you. No one was in the room with us. I shed some tears; they fell upon your cold cheek. The peace that radiated from you like a beacon in the darkness of this world still semed to eminate from you, somehow filling the room with a quiet assurance. I told you that you were the greatest woman I had ever met and that you were more beautiful than when you walked down the aisle towards me on the day of our wedding. You were a gifted woman. You were a woman of vision, of determination, you were a person of hope and who inspired hope in others, but most of all you were a woman of integrity, someone who lived a life of virtue and honesty and who expected others to do the same. I admired all of these qualitites about you, but most of all I admired the integrity. I shed tears as I shared these things with you, as we were in bed together for the last time. Never again would we be this close physically in this life. I look forward to when we will see each other again, with your radiant face and your shining eyes. I know there will be rays of peace beaming from your face. It is your gift. I will always love you. As I promised you on our wedding day: 'I give you my undying love'. Thank you all for your prayers and support. I know that Sabina appreciated all of your efforts as well. Thank you.
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7 comments:
Dearest Michael--we all knew this day would come and yet....my heart goes out to you. Sabina did touch all of our lives and even today I think of how she supported me in the workplace as my mentor and always had time. She gave to so many and I pray that you will feel her presence with you thru these difficult days. Faith, hope, love, the greatest of these is love. A woman ahead of her times, Sabina possessed grace and dignity that allowed her to be a wife, a mother and an executive in a demanding job. How much she wanted a child and when Serena came, the days of walking her up and down the aisles, and yes, of having us hold her. She shared family with coworkers and I will long remember her and miss her along with you. May the sun of today bring peace into your heart. We are all blessed for having known her. My deepest sympathy and my perpetual support.
There are people in your life that make a difference
Maybe they show you a better way of living
Or maybe they show you how to better treat yourself and others
My heart has captured a feeling that I will never be without or never be able to forget
The feeling is “lovely” and “wonderful” and full of energy
The people in your life that make a difference are people that you know are true
They are people who do not hide who they are and let you see inside
It is a small peek into a very incredible world
I believe that certain people come into your life for certain reasons
By opening your heart
By seeing the good
Reach out to those who need reaching out to
I think about what my life would be like without these people who have become a part of who I am
I know there will be others – many others in my life that make a difference
Thank you for the memories
Thank you for the difference you have made in my life
I will remember you Sabina because you are in my heart yesterday, today and tomorrow
Michael,
What a beautiful memorial for Sabina. She really had it all planned out. Sabina knew how to live her life to the fullest and also, prepare herself for dying. She was blessed to know God. He was with her at all times. Even though, sometimes we question him, he really is there for us and has a plan of our lives.
Just take one day at a time and go to God. He will wrap his arms around you & Serena. God is so amazing to have in your life. I know you are going through a very difficult time right now. Serena will lessen your pain too. She is a blessing from God. Serena needs you too.
Please, remember to stop by the Finance department also. We all miss seeing you & Serena. Now, you both have a much nicer place to visit us.
Take care,
God Bless you & Serena.
Brenda Kringlie
I shared this poem with Michael via email. It is one that someone shared with me when I lost Mark and I found it comforting. I thought it might be of comfort to others who are missing Sabina so deeply now, too. That hole in your heart will never close, but you will become accustomed to it and it will get easier to go through life with it there.
"And if I go while you're still here...
Know that I still live on,
Vibrating to a different measure
behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait the time when we can soar together again,
both aware of each other.
Until then, live to the fullest.
And when you need me,
just whisper my name in your heart,
..........I will be there."
--Colleen Hitchcock
~brandey
As I continue to receive stories about Sabina for Serena’s storybook, I find much comfort in reading the powerful expressions of admiration and gratitude for the impact Sabina had on the lives of other people. I would like to share my own testimony and invite all those reading to share yours on this blog. Also, if you would like to contribute a story, a journal entry, a poem, or even a quote (from Sabina or otherwise) for Serena’s storybook – please email me at cttant@aol.com.
Sabina was always the first to admit that she was imperfect. But wasn’t she so much FUN to be around!?! I knew Sabina for 16 years and she had a PROFOUND impact on my life. I can summarize what Sabina meant to me in one word: MENTOR. She mentored me in business, in my relationships, in motherhood, and even in death. I don’t think it was something that Sabina did for me on a conscious level. Rather, it was her innate ability to connect with people and the example she set for others by the way she lived her own life. I looked up to Sabina in many ways and I am a better person for having known her. She gave me something intangible that I will carry inside me for the rest of my life. Her memory will continue to influence the decisions I make every day and I believe this is how Sabina will continue to live on through her influence on each life that she touched. I woke up feeling so very sad on the day of her funeral. But I could hear Sabina’s soft calming voice in my ear saying to me, “It’s okay. It’s okay to be sad today. BUT, ONLY TODAY!” Sabina did not want us to be sad when we remember her. In fact, she wanted us to be happy, to laugh, to celebrate our triumphs and accomplishments – whether it is the sale of a house, a promotion, a new baby, or even a trip. Sabina recently told me she believed that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. Perhaps it was this belief and her faith in God that enabled her to be at PEACE. She wanted each of us to make this choice for ourselves. I realize this will be more difficult and take longer for some than others, but make this PROMISE to Sabina. Make this promise to yourself. I believe this is SABINA’S GIFT to each of us. Her gift of ETERNAL LOVE.
I miss you Subbie, more now than ever before. I never really thought you leaving would hurt so much. Tho I know no one will see this, I know you would know. I feel such a loss, so young and filled with beauty. In your words I swear to honor your memory, "One more day, One more night, One more hour, One more minute." Know how much I love you.
Your big sis, Nina
Subbie,
I miss you so much, more now then ever before. I was so selfish in thinking that God wouldn't take you away. I pray every night for forgiveness. From you, from God.
I will honor your memory, in your words "ONE MORE DAY, ONE MORE NIGHT, ONE MORE HOUR, ONE MORE MINUTE."
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