Last tuesday my younger sister (Nereida) was scheduled to have an emergency surgery due to a herniated intestine, unfortunately, I did not know how "dangerous" this surgery was going to be so when I spoke to her that morning I told her good luck and I'll talk to you tomorrow. I never thought those could have been my last words to her. In the evening I received a call that my sister may not make it through the night. I was devasted. I thought I didn't get a chance to tell her how much I love her. I need to hear her voice one more time. I need to tell her I love her. I felt such an incredible loss. And I selfishly thought she is suppose to be mourning my loss not me mourning her loss. She is suppose to be here with me and on my journey. I did not want to go on this journey without her. The pain I experienced was different and intense. I understand now the pain that my loved ones are experiencing with the thought of losing me. There is a need to just have one more chance to hold and to touch and to say I love you. Thankfully, Nereida did pull through this surgery and is now home recuperating and I did get my chance to say I LOVE YOU once more.
On a brighter note my brother (Ray), his better half (Christy), and my nephew(Nico) came and spent the weekend with Michael, Serena, and I. Nico is three and he gets along GREAT with Serena. Of course, you know that means (love, hate, play, and fight). Ray and Christy took great care of us. They were happy to just lay around and chat because these days that's all I seem to do. O.K. I guess I should say Christy and I layed around and chatted. The men were off doing something. As for Nico and Serena they watched Veggie Tales at least 50 times and they still LOVE it. Michael, Serena, and I were very sad to see them go back to sunny 80 degree Florida. We couldn't believe they would not want to stay here in 9 degree weather. I have to admit it was funny that Nico did not seem to enjoy the snow as much as Serena does.
As of today I am halfway through my radiation treatments (YEAH!!!). I am experiencing a lot of pain on my left side so I hope this radiation treatment will work. I have been having difficulty sleeping over the last few days and finally in desperation I bought a "husband pillow" and wouldn't you know I slept all night. Today I woke up feeling GREAT. I have to admit I am not sure why it is called a husband pillow but it is now my favorite pillow.
This Friday I am off to a Breast Cancer Conference sponsored by the Young Survivor Coalition. It is for women under the age of 40 who have had or currently have breast cancer. I will update you all upon my return. In the meantime I have included a link of a recent teleconference regarding metastatic breast cancer: http://www.youngsurvival.org/images/pdf/metastatic_medical_front_transcript_dec_19.pdf
Thank you all for your prayers and support. Thank you again for sharing this journey with Michael, Serena, and I.
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5 comments:
Hi Sabina, Serena and Michael,
Dave here on the left coast again.
I just read your latest blog and I have to say it kept me on the edge of my seat and holding my breath praying that your sister would not die.
This death issue has with it a sting that hurts very deep, and yet our focus must be on life so abundant all around us.
Sure it is hard to feel something soft when you are sitting on nails of pain.
I believe this is where imagination is so key to living a life of PEACE!
Isn't that where we look DEATH square in the face and stare it down and shout at it with the voice of triumphant hope...because for every death there is abundant life...as in, the kernel of corn dies and abundant kernals of corn come to life.
Serena is the Creator's vote that she should live and give you joy that could not be duplicated by anyone else.
Yes, when you stop to think about it, everything that lives has had a period of darkness or death before it comes forth with a new birth of abundance.
Sabina, you are a living example of what the Creator meant when He said...I have come...and I will continue to create abundantly so that man may know that everything that lives is a reminder that death does not eventually win.
Thank you Sabin for allowing us to walk with you through this big C journey.
God Bless non-stop!
Dave & Monika Yancey
PS: "Every life is a light that brightens and cheers the pathway of others."
Sabina - Ray, Nico and I really enjoyed our visit with you (even though you and Michael took more care of us than we did of you!). We constantly laugh until our stomachs hurt whenever we are with you guys. Fortunately, this visit was no different (except for that we also cried). Even though it is difficult to see you go through this, I still feel so thankful to have had this visit. And yet giving thanks seems so inappropriate because I am not thankful for these circumstances. But, it’s like you said – you have your good days and you have your bad days, but every day you are still here and still with family is a VERY good day. Thank you for reminding me. I love you.
One more thing... Nereida did give us all a good scare! Her ability to pull through this surgery is another example of the strength the woman in this family possess. I admire you all.
To those reading this blog,
Sabina recently shared some of the details about her rare type of cancer with me. Her oncologist is continuing to experiment with different treatments, but has not seemed to find the right one yet. The doctors are unable to offer any explanation as to why her cancer is not reacting to the treatments like they expected. Sabina has met with numerous oncologists at various hospitals. She has also done an enormous amount of research on her own. However, there is so much information out there and it is quite overwhelming to the lay person. She does have very good doctors, but they are only limited to what they know. I was shocked to find out that when Sabina asked her doctor whether she was a candidate for certain treatments that Sabina found through her own research, her doctor responded by saying she did not have any information on them and even added that Sabina was welcome to investigate it further – ON HER OWN!
Sabina would never ask anyone to take this on. I am. Please be proactive about gathering information and passing it along. I am not asking you to spend hours reading every word on the 4000+ websites about breast cancer. All I am asking is that if you happen to see an article about cancer treatments or clinical trials, read it thoroughly. If you hear something on the news, listen for words like "malignant spindle cells in a myxoid stroma" or "mestastatic breast cancer" or "triple negative disease." If you meet someone who has been touched by cancer, ask them about their experience, their treatments, even their doctors. This only takes a few minutes. If you have more time, then please spend it seeking out this information. The miracles of modern medicine happen every day. We must continue to hope that there is one for Sabina.
She is fighting as hard as she can to stay with us. This is one very important way in which we all can help her. Thank you.
To Our Extended Family:
Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. Your support and encouragement to my family, to my sister, brother in law and niece are appreciated more than you may realize.
I am sorry for the scare that most of you had to endure, I did not realize that my operation was going to be as extensive as it turned out to be. I am forever grateful to God and his loving grace in my life as well as in the lives of my family.
Thank you,
Nereida
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